It was fun to read about your friend Luis. Just bits and pieces from his life made me feel like I know him a little.
As I think of something that made me laugh and cry, I think about the recent passing of a beloved friend. As we looked through photos and memorabilia, I was reminded of wonderful times we have had together, and of her kindness and willingness to share with me her time and talents at different times in my life. It has been so fun and tender to remember, and at the same time to realize I won’t see her again for a long time and wish I could call her up and go visit and enjoy her good cooking, and admire her beautiful home and creations, and just enjoy being together.
I’m crying and smiling as I write this. Love you honey.
Yes, the loss of someone dear / the rising up of all the beautiful memories is such a dear and tender example of the happy-sad / sad-happy. Thank you for sharing! Love you too.
Holly, this is such a gorgeous piece of writing! I was struck by so much here, but particularly the idea of spending time in a career that’s adjacent to your true desires. What a gift to yourself to create this space and step fully into what you’ve wanted to do all along. ❤️
This was beautiful Holly, both your reflections on going over your old notebooks and your Luis piece.
As per usual, I really enjoyed some of your metaphors, the way you deliver your lines, and the depth and vulnerability that rest behind so many of your words.
Below are a few lines that really stood out for me.
“I’ll step into sunlight oozing like honey through cracks”
“I’m fortunate to have parents with the space and tolerance to collect, like sediment layers, the deposits I’ve made before and after various walkabouts.”
“The pieces in the Frida notebook are lusty, forlorn—a salty, moonlit night crescendoing with the crash of the waves, in the arms of a lover who will endlessly be gone by dawn.”
“Only then could I have the audacity to put my voice into the world. That restriction disappears like soot as I reach out to touch it now. Instead, I am thrilled to be becoming.” — this is beautiful.
I’m glad your here and your sharing your process of becoming with us.
Thank you, Michael. Your support means a lot. Ah, the kindred souls to be found through writing--this learning and sharing of each others minds and hearts. And you always pick out the lines that were my favorite to write. :)
Ohh I’m so glad to hear that. One of the only notes I have stuck above the desk where I write says — “have fun with your writing, it comes across when you do.”
And so, it’s awesome to hear I’m noticing the lines you enjoyed writing. :)
Thank you! Yes, old notebooks are pretty rad. I also have another stack from even much earlier years buried in a deeper layer of basement sediment (the angsty, angsty teen years). Will go back for them one day too. I won’t be surprised if they’re slightly less treasure. 🤣
So the question doesn’t get lost. I would love to hear. What’s brought you to happy-sad tears (or just one or the other) of late? What makes you feel more real, more like you? What treasures have you unearthed? Any you might have long forgotten? What of yours have you been dismissive of? (How) has that changed
I backtracked here (you've already sent a new post and I have yet to comment on this one that I flagged in my email!) to make a comment and in my scrolling you asked a question that my thoughts were designed to answer. Perhaps I conjured your question!
"What of yours have you been dismissive of?"
My writing! I want you to know how much it touched me that you called me a writer! With an even kinder adjective! YOU, Holly, are a writer with your concerted effort,turns of phrases, and colorful adjectives. The words I put to page pale in comparison (I know it's not a competition, but in general...). Thank you for the boost that pushes me to keep putting pixels to screen.
Now I must go breathe the outside air and push my bicycle up a steep mountain; the reason I don't write often and comment with less frequency than I would like. That and no wifi at my current home... with love!
A beautifully crafted response, as always. And answer perhaps to what you should not be dismissive of ;). "Perhaps I conjured your questions." Yes, please, continue to put pixels to screen, and I will continue to enjoy them and your adventurous spirit and adventurous pushing of bikes up steep mountains and sundry other adventury adventures.
Oh my, a home without wifi. I suppose the van has no such thing. But there's always a hotspot to be made.
Sven! Thank you for sharing. This is, indeed a list of happy-sad, likely oft excruciating on either around of the spectrum, pain and joy for lack of more accurate words.
And thank you for saying that. What a wonderful compliment. I'm touched, truly!
I resonate so much with you in the desire to become more real, both to myself and to the readers. I'm experimenting with being vulnerable with my writing, and in sharing unfinished processes as they unfold--that journey of "becoming" you so eloquently described in this essay.
Dear Holly,
It was fun to read about your friend Luis. Just bits and pieces from his life made me feel like I know him a little.
As I think of something that made me laugh and cry, I think about the recent passing of a beloved friend. As we looked through photos and memorabilia, I was reminded of wonderful times we have had together, and of her kindness and willingness to share with me her time and talents at different times in my life. It has been so fun and tender to remember, and at the same time to realize I won’t see her again for a long time and wish I could call her up and go visit and enjoy her good cooking, and admire her beautiful home and creations, and just enjoy being together.
I’m crying and smiling as I write this. Love you honey.
Yes, the loss of someone dear / the rising up of all the beautiful memories is such a dear and tender example of the happy-sad / sad-happy. Thank you for sharing! Love you too.
Holly, this is such a gorgeous piece of writing! I was struck by so much here, but particularly the idea of spending time in a career that’s adjacent to your true desires. What a gift to yourself to create this space and step fully into what you’ve wanted to do all along. ❤️
Maddie, thank you! It feels like what I'm supposed to be doing. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and react. It means a lot. :)
This was beautiful Holly, both your reflections on going over your old notebooks and your Luis piece.
As per usual, I really enjoyed some of your metaphors, the way you deliver your lines, and the depth and vulnerability that rest behind so many of your words.
Below are a few lines that really stood out for me.
“I’ll step into sunlight oozing like honey through cracks”
“I’m fortunate to have parents with the space and tolerance to collect, like sediment layers, the deposits I’ve made before and after various walkabouts.”
“The pieces in the Frida notebook are lusty, forlorn—a salty, moonlit night crescendoing with the crash of the waves, in the arms of a lover who will endlessly be gone by dawn.”
“Only then could I have the audacity to put my voice into the world. That restriction disappears like soot as I reach out to touch it now. Instead, I am thrilled to be becoming.” — this is beautiful.
I’m glad your here and your sharing your process of becoming with us.
Thanks Holly.
Thank you, Michael. Your support means a lot. Ah, the kindred souls to be found through writing--this learning and sharing of each others minds and hearts. And you always pick out the lines that were my favorite to write. :)
Ohh I’m so glad to hear that. One of the only notes I have stuck above the desk where I write says — “have fun with your writing, it comes across when you do.”
And so, it’s awesome to hear I’m noticing the lines you enjoyed writing. :)
Brilliant! I love that this is one of the few notes above your writing desk.
This is extraordinary, Holly.
From a brilliant writer herself, that mean a lot. Thank you!
...silence has long proved a far crueler weapon. Great writing. It's great to discover old notebooks.
Thank you! Yes, old notebooks are pretty rad. I also have another stack from even much earlier years buried in a deeper layer of basement sediment (the angsty, angsty teen years). Will go back for them one day too. I won’t be surprised if they’re slightly less treasure. 🤣
So the question doesn’t get lost. I would love to hear. What’s brought you to happy-sad tears (or just one or the other) of late? What makes you feel more real, more like you? What treasures have you unearthed? Any you might have long forgotten? What of yours have you been dismissive of? (How) has that changed
I backtracked here (you've already sent a new post and I have yet to comment on this one that I flagged in my email!) to make a comment and in my scrolling you asked a question that my thoughts were designed to answer. Perhaps I conjured your question!
"What of yours have you been dismissive of?"
My writing! I want you to know how much it touched me that you called me a writer! With an even kinder adjective! YOU, Holly, are a writer with your concerted effort,turns of phrases, and colorful adjectives. The words I put to page pale in comparison (I know it's not a competition, but in general...). Thank you for the boost that pushes me to keep putting pixels to screen.
Now I must go breathe the outside air and push my bicycle up a steep mountain; the reason I don't write often and comment with less frequency than I would like. That and no wifi at my current home... with love!
A beautifully crafted response, as always. And answer perhaps to what you should not be dismissive of ;). "Perhaps I conjured your questions." Yes, please, continue to put pixels to screen, and I will continue to enjoy them and your adventurous spirit and adventurous pushing of bikes up steep mountains and sundry other adventury adventures.
Oh my, a home without wifi. I suppose the van has no such thing. But there's always a hotspot to be made.
Sven! Thank you for sharing. This is, indeed a list of happy-sad, likely oft excruciating on either around of the spectrum, pain and joy for lack of more accurate words.
And thank you for saying that. What a wonderful compliment. I'm touched, truly!
I resonate so much with you in the desire to become more real, both to myself and to the readers. I'm experimenting with being vulnerable with my writing, and in sharing unfinished processes as they unfold--that journey of "becoming" you so eloquently described in this essay.