Guest author, Marya Hornbacher: "So sometimes you’re jerry-rigging a box cutter when a tall, slender boy walks over and says, Ma’am, I seen you struggling, I was wondering could I help."
I'm just sitting here kind of stunned that I was treated to this little glimpse into these lives. It's reminiscent of some of the lives I'm introduced to on the street. Interesting. Sweet. Heartbreaking. And when I tell some about them, I get blank stares. So I mostly keep them to myself. Take them out sometimes and think about them and remind myself that real people still exist.
Oh yes they do! I'm so glad to hear from another story-gatherer—that's exactly why I fell in love with Holly Starley's work, and I'm happy to meet you here.
I love your response so much, Rosemary. "Stunned that I was treated to this little glimpse into these lives." I love that it's reminiscent of some of the people you've known on the streets.
Thank you much for stopping by, reading, and commenting.
Stunning. Marya leaves me shaken, as anyone must be who conffronts the reality of the unhoused, unfed, unwashed, unhoped. I marveled at what I took to be her ear for dialog and notice she recorded the entire exchange. So she knew from the start that this could or might be a story, took pains to ensure its accuracy and somehow got the couple on side. “Mind if I record you?” can be a conversation-killer, but maybe that’s my insecurity talking.
Oh my goodness. Thank you. I knew from the start that their words needed to be heard somehow—you never know how that will be possible, but it seemed so vital that they know their story matters, and I think they do. Thank you.
An afterthought: John Steinbeck also drove across America to write TRAVELS WITH CHARLEY, a book I treasure even though it’s said to be mostly fiction. Steinbeck was uneasy around his own kind and relied on Charley to make the introductions. He observed and embellished brilliantly but I never sense much of a connection between him and the people he met, or said he met. He couldn’t get out of his own head. You, on the other hand, become an active participant in the lives of this couple. You are pulling for them. The only person who is.
Right?! From my brief interactions with Marya and from her writing, I already know she has a way of putting people at ease, as well as the professionalism to report what she encounters with accuracy and humanity.
Thank you, Rona. As always, meeting you in the comments (as in yours) is a joy. I love your keen eye for good writing and the writer at home in the work.
This essay is breathtaking, it literally took my breath away, as it peeled away the mask of bullshit to allow me to see the humanity below the road dust. This is the work our world needs. Thank you Holly for hosting Marya and shining the light on the trap many people find themselves in. We need continuous reminders to simply show up as a human being everywhere we go, to open our eyes, ears and hearts.
The thing that stuck with me was "the man with the RV stood with his soft fists on his hips". Soft fists sums it up perfectly and leaves me with a lump in my heart.
Oh, great line, Donna. I hadn’t noticed, but “soft fists” does, indeed, speak volumes. That’s one of my favorite things about good writing—how it can capture entire truths in compact moments.
I’ve met people on the road (and elsewhere) in situations like these kids are in, and given Ruby the van’s rough exterior, I’ve been treated as if I am. And it is a sad truth that, too often, fear (and other motivators) keep people from showing up as human beings with each other.
Thank you, Donna, for reading and commenting. I always love finding you here in the comments. ♥️💕
So powerful. Another world. I watched Agnes Varda's film The Vagabond last night and I live in France and it hit hard. And this even harder. I am a mum -- and my children (adults) are not on the margins in the way these young people, but even with just about holding it together financial stability young people have been handed way too little in this crumbling world.
It’s true, isn’t it? So much just getting by. And Marya’s piece so elegantly highlights how lines drawn without thought and systems without equity put people on the margins (or, as you put it so well, “just about holding it together”) and keep them from access to “upward mobility.”
Holly and Marya, what a great team you are! Splendid prose, gracious people, and heart--so much heart--are qualities you both share.
Marya, thank you for your acceptance, for seeing the potential in those kids instead of the box the world had already painted them into. If not for a demolished hitch plug and an open mind...
I hope they make it, those two. I hope they find more Maryas on their journey.
♥️ It's a quality you share, too, my friend. So much heart! I'm always so delighted to meet you here in the comments, Elizabeth. If you're new to Marya, then I'm over the moon to have made the intro. You'll love her stuff.
So much of this wonderful piece will stay with me for various reasons, but this floored me: “I did what she needed me to do; she needed me to play an older white woman who was safe and financially secure and in a position to judge people who were young and unhoused and unsafe and unwashed and poor.”
I’ve had to play a similar part at various times. It’s a strange position to be in.
Yes, Chris! This part really caught me too. I’ve played a similar role. And I’ve tried to play a similar, only to realize I’d been cast in the role of the not-so-secure, so the “clout” I was so used to wielding I almost forgot I had it turned out to be as helpful as the emperor’s clothes.
Thank you, Chris. Though that bit comes at the end, I am constantly aware of the roles that we are asked (and, I’d wager, we ask others) to play in order to maintain comfort or order or propriety; while I know some of those matter, many of them serve ultimately to obscure truth and, I think, connection. More and more it feels like a calculus of when is an ethical good ultimately being served by playing this kind of role—like, the kids got to stay, they were safe for the night—and when am I playing a role that serves no ethical end? Anyway, thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for your work as well.
And Marya, you ripped a huge hunk of my heart out just now with your amazing writing. Deep truth. Deep kindness. I can almost smell the kids (can I call them that since I’m 71, and my kids are older than them?) and see their shy smiles as they offer their help.
It’s just what people do. At least it should be. And with that truth bouncing around inside my heart, I say thank you for being in my life Marya. Even if it’s only thru your writing.
What an honor to meet you, Teyani. Thank you so much, already, for your readership, participation in what I so hope can be an ongoing and meaningful conversation, and your support. I look forward to seeing you here again!
This made me want to cry. The way he said "my wife" as often as possible. Saying "Ma'am?" instead of "What?" (as I was raised to do). When "staying safe" means owning a gun because you know that safety is for other people, not for you. Her turtles. Piping up like a dormouse. Everything. Thank you, Holly, for bringing Marya to us.
Elizabeth is a generous, wise close reader. Her own stack is an exploration of Greek tragedy, so she's steeped in attentiveness to text, to detail, to the way those nuances speak to meaning and to hearts and minds. I feel so fortunate to have her read and comment on the pieces I share.
My pleasure, Elizabeth. I often read Marya and think I have to introduce her to “my people”—that’s how I think of the fantastic people who show up here to read and talk about life. 😊 I know they’ll love her.
She and I are talking about a collaboration I also can’t wait to share!
And I love knowing (from her response to another comment) that Marya’s still in touch with this couple and that they’ve made their way a little further west.
Thank you so much.
I can't stand that these posts have "like" buttons. This one needs a "love" button, so I'm just going to say it does, when I LOVE/HEART this story.
"You ain’t have to pay me, he said. I don’t expect nothing for this. This is just what you do for people.
I know.
This is just what people do.
I know that, I said. I know."
Yeah. We need more people like that in the world. It's sorely missing, these days. Thank you, Marya, and thank you, Holly. Breathtaking essay. LOVE.
I also want a “hell yeah” button and maybe one with audio that says “sing it” and sings
So glad to know this resonated with you!!
We have to band together and file our demands with the powers that be at Substack!
*jots note* ON IT
😜
Right?! I love how this story highlight the inherent generosity that buoys us all in a couple who i’m sure are often “othered.”
Thank you, Nan. LOVE here too!
Absolutely. We can all be much more kind to each other! xoxo
I'm just sitting here kind of stunned that I was treated to this little glimpse into these lives. It's reminiscent of some of the lives I'm introduced to on the street. Interesting. Sweet. Heartbreaking. And when I tell some about them, I get blank stares. So I mostly keep them to myself. Take them out sometimes and think about them and remind myself that real people still exist.
Oh yes they do! I'm so glad to hear from another story-gatherer—that's exactly why I fell in love with Holly Starley's work, and I'm happy to meet you here.
Happy to meet you too! I'm excited to read more of her work! And yours!
I love your response so much, Rosemary. "Stunned that I was treated to this little glimpse into these lives." I love that it's reminiscent of some of the people you've known on the streets.
Thank you much for stopping by, reading, and commenting.
Stunning. Marya leaves me shaken, as anyone must be who conffronts the reality of the unhoused, unfed, unwashed, unhoped. I marveled at what I took to be her ear for dialog and notice she recorded the entire exchange. So she knew from the start that this could or might be a story, took pains to ensure its accuracy and somehow got the couple on side. “Mind if I record you?” can be a conversation-killer, but maybe that’s my insecurity talking.
Oh my goodness. Thank you. I knew from the start that their words needed to be heard somehow—you never know how that will be possible, but it seemed so vital that they know their story matters, and I think they do. Thank you.
An afterthought: John Steinbeck also drove across America to write TRAVELS WITH CHARLEY, a book I treasure even though it’s said to be mostly fiction. Steinbeck was uneasy around his own kind and relied on Charley to make the introductions. He observed and embellished brilliantly but I never sense much of a connection between him and the people he met, or said he met. He couldn’t get out of his own head. You, on the other hand, become an active participant in the lives of this couple. You are pulling for them. The only person who is.
Right?! From my brief interactions with Marya and from her writing, I already know she has a way of putting people at ease, as well as the professionalism to report what she encounters with accuracy and humanity.
Thank you, Rona. As always, meeting you in the comments (as in yours) is a joy. I love your keen eye for good writing and the writer at home in the work.
This essay is breathtaking, it literally took my breath away, as it peeled away the mask of bullshit to allow me to see the humanity below the road dust. This is the work our world needs. Thank you Holly for hosting Marya and shining the light on the trap many people find themselves in. We need continuous reminders to simply show up as a human being everywhere we go, to open our eyes, ears and hearts.
The thing that stuck with me was "the man with the RV stood with his soft fists on his hips". Soft fists sums it up perfectly and leaves me with a lump in my heart.
Oh, great line, Donna. I hadn’t noticed, but “soft fists” does, indeed, speak volumes. That’s one of my favorite things about good writing—how it can capture entire truths in compact moments.
I’ve met people on the road (and elsewhere) in situations like these kids are in, and given Ruby the van’s rough exterior, I’ve been treated as if I am. And it is a sad truth that, too often, fear (and other motivators) keep people from showing up as human beings with each other.
Thank you, Donna, for reading and commenting. I always love finding you here in the comments. ♥️💕
It means so much to hear your response to this piece, and honestly to these kids. Thank you.
So powerful. Another world. I watched Agnes Varda's film The Vagabond last night and I live in France and it hit hard. And this even harder. I am a mum -- and my children (adults) are not on the margins in the way these young people, but even with just about holding it together financial stability young people have been handed way too little in this crumbling world.
“Just about holding it together”—well said, and rough on the heart. Thank you for giving it a read.
It’s true, isn’t it? So much just getting by. And Marya’s piece so elegantly highlights how lines drawn without thought and systems without equity put people on the margins (or, as you put it so well, “just about holding it together”) and keep them from access to “upward mobility.”
Thank you much for reading and commenting, Jan.
What delightful writing with so much depth and emotion. Thank you for sharing, Holly! And thank you for writing, Marya!
Thank you for spending a little time with it, and taking a moment to comment! Really appreciate this.
♥️♥️, my friend! Hope this finds you well, not too hot in temp, and also as hot as always in badassery!!
Thanks, Holly! Love both you and Marya!
Holly and Marya, what a great team you are! Splendid prose, gracious people, and heart--so much heart--are qualities you both share.
Marya, thank you for your acceptance, for seeing the potential in those kids instead of the box the world had already painted them into. If not for a demolished hitch plug and an open mind...
I hope they make it, those two. I hope they find more Maryas on their journey.
Thank you for a story I won't soon forget.
♥️ It's a quality you share, too, my friend. So much heart! I'm always so delighted to meet you here in the comments, Elizabeth. If you're new to Marya, then I'm over the moon to have made the intro. You'll love her stuff.
What a beautiful message, Elizabeth, thank you! I’m so touched to meet Holly’s readers here—you are really a remarkable group.
That's 99.9% Holly, of course. :)
So much of this wonderful piece will stay with me for various reasons, but this floored me: “I did what she needed me to do; she needed me to play an older white woman who was safe and financially secure and in a position to judge people who were young and unhoused and unsafe and unwashed and poor.”
I’ve had to play a similar part at various times. It’s a strange position to be in.
Yes, Chris! This part really caught me too. I’ve played a similar role. And I’ve tried to play a similar, only to realize I’d been cast in the role of the not-so-secure, so the “clout” I was so used to wielding I almost forgot I had it turned out to be as helpful as the emperor’s clothes.
Thanks ever so much for reading and commenting.
Thank you, Chris. Though that bit comes at the end, I am constantly aware of the roles that we are asked (and, I’d wager, we ask others) to play in order to maintain comfort or order or propriety; while I know some of those matter, many of them serve ultimately to obscure truth and, I think, connection. More and more it feels like a calculus of when is an ethical good ultimately being served by playing this kind of role—like, the kids got to stay, they were safe for the night—and when am I playing a role that serves no ethical end? Anyway, thank you for reading, thank you for commenting, thank you for your work as well.
“You’re a mother”…. Yes, I am.
And Marya, you ripped a huge hunk of my heart out just now with your amazing writing. Deep truth. Deep kindness. I can almost smell the kids (can I call them that since I’m 71, and my kids are older than them?) and see their shy smiles as they offer their help.
It’s just what people do. At least it should be. And with that truth bouncing around inside my heart, I say thank you for being in my life Marya. Even if it’s only thru your writing.
What an honor to meet you, Teyani. Thank you so much, already, for your readership, participation in what I so hope can be an ongoing and meaningful conversation, and your support. I look forward to seeing you here again!
Ps. I want the HELL YES! Button too
Me three!!
Generosity defined ... .
Mary, thank you.
Right?! Perfect way of explaining this piece, Mary.
This made me want to cry. The way he said "my wife" as often as possible. Saying "Ma'am?" instead of "What?" (as I was raised to do). When "staying safe" means owning a gun because you know that safety is for other people, not for you. Her turtles. Piping up like a dormouse. Everything. Thank you, Holly, for bringing Marya to us.
The language people use is so powerfully distinct—I’m so glad these details caught you too!
Elizabeth is a generous, wise close reader. Her own stack is an exploration of Greek tragedy, so she's steeped in attentiveness to text, to detail, to the way those nuances speak to meaning and to hearts and minds. I feel so fortunate to have her read and comment on the pieces I share.
Thank you for introducing me to her work!!
Holly, talk about generous! I’m so touched by these kind words, and honored. Thank you.
My pleasure, Elizabeth. I often read Marya and think I have to introduce her to “my people”—that’s how I think of the fantastic people who show up here to read and talk about life. 😊 I know they’ll love her.
She and I are talking about a collaboration I also can’t wait to share!
Wow. Just wow.
It was an amazing encounter in a life of amazing encounters. So glad it connected for you.
Yep, my reaction too.
I love Marya's stack. Her stories are riveting, raw, awesome, and very very real. I hadn't read this one and so glad you posted it, Holly. Gracias.
I am so happy to have you along, Jeanine! I appreciate your comments hugely.
My pleasure. Such great stuff.
Yeah, I love Going Solo at the End of This World. Thrilled to have found Marya and her work!! Thank you, Jeanine. 💕
Brilliant writing and a story that will stay with me for a long time. Unforgettable.
Tina, I am absolutely loving Turkey Town. What a gift you’re giving us. Thank you!!
Me too, Tina, me too.
And I love knowing (from her response to another comment) that Marya’s still in touch with this couple and that they’ve made their way a little further west.