Yes pigs and goats are great, not scary at all! Although the one time there was a giant family of pigs in my garden I didn't necessarily appreciate this either 🤣 You should come and visit, NZ is beautiful!
That was great. I made a cup of tea and sat down and now my damn tea is cold because I got so engrossed in your writing that I forgot it. “You owe me a cup of tea!,” he said banging his knuckles on the worn walnut desk. :)
I have thought of what might happen if I ran into a bear, because where I live there’s every chance I will, and I’m in the forest a lot. I do run into signs of bears, but so far I’ve not seen them. Although whether they’ve seen me is another matter. But of all the scenarios I’ve imagined I’ve never thought of the bear whistling past me and disappearing into who knows where. Lucky, lucky you.
Thanks Holly, I really enjoyed that. Got to get out to the wilds now. You’ve whet my appetite
I'd gladly get you a cuppa tea any old day so we could sit down and discuss the world and our writing or just take in some fantastic view somewhere.
Poor knuckles.
Yes, this encounter was a special one. And I really wasn't even scared. I hardly had time to be. Just kind of in awe. I've had more than a handful of bear in the wild sightings, in the forest, in the Yukon, and once on a beach in a PNW rainforest. Every time one of us has needed to, it's been the bear who's veered away, though I'd have been happy to get out of his or her way as well. ;)
Every time one of us has needed to, it's been the bear who's veered away - I sometimes imagine it'd be the dog that'd be the problem. I can imagine a bear wisely veering from me but the dog is a tasty and annoying creature for bears. Wolves too. He's like a plate of meatballs for them. Yum.
I think about this too when I take a friend’s dog along hiking. I love Coco’s company. But in such an encounter would she be a help or a hindrance? Likely the latter. And I’d be terrified for her and trying to figure out how to defend her!
I live in Montana. I grew up in Los Angeles. I had enough "escaping by skin of my teeth" experiences living there that I am on high alert most of the time. It is my body's set state. I read your essay and felt my heart begin to race. Several years ago, my husband and I were camping and we drove over to a canyon near the river so he could throw in a line. I sat in a canvas chair and picked up my book. I got lost in the story. I looked up as a crow cawed above me and then realized I didn't see my husband anywhere. I called out. No answer. I called again and again, then went to the truck to sit inside, feeling extremely vulnerable. My imagination went wild. I pictured him hiking the hills without his heart medicine. I pictured him eaten by a grizzly bear. I'm next! I tried the doors of the truck. They were locked. Yeah...don't ask me. My husband claims they were locked out of habit. I began yelling some more, and soon he came from right behind a nearby large bush. The sound of the rushing water had masked my screaming and he finally heard me. I have no doubt that the adrenaline that filled my body was exactly how I'd feel if I had actually seen a grizzly bear that day. I'm also sure that nearby campers though I was in the process of being mauled by that same bear.
Oh, Linda! I relate to both how sound can be strange in the wild--either carrying crazy far or being totally drowned out even when close by, say, rushing water--and how you can suddenly become convinced that something has gone horribly wrong, and oh my god nothing will ever be the same again. Our frail strong human hearts and bodies are such a curiosity and a wonder.
Glad all was well with your hubby! And also, LA to Montana is a big change. I love so much of Montana. So much gorgeousness there. And in truth, I have a lot of love for Los Angeles too. Though I wouldn't choose to live there now.
Thank you, thank you for reading and commenting, my friend. 💕
Holly...same. I've been in Montana for thirty years and I was in LA for thirty. I still think of LA as "home" since I grew up there, and I enjoy being back for visits, although I would not ever live there again. And...I'll always be a "beach" girl. 😃
Great story! We had a family of bears move into an Oak tree next to our house in Western Mass. They stayed for about a week and stripped it clean of acorns. They were much more tame than your rushing bear. They mostly kept to themselves and their work, but occasionally sauntered up to the doorstep. I spent hours watching them, and I'm glad I did, because I have not seen a bear since then.
Oh what a treat to be able to observe them like that--dreamy! And a whole family of them. (Sighs with delight.)
I figure my rushing bear was just scared out of his mind and trying to get off this damn trail where he might encounter those pesky two-legged humans. ;)
Thanks ever so much for reading and sharing your bear family in the oak tree. 🐻♥️
Whoa, what a story! so many layers, and so well told.
To answer your question: Nos, I've never longed to see a bear in the wild. The biggest animals we meet here in the Portuguese mountains are Serra da Estrela dogs (which can grow to the size of a baby bear) and it can be a little scary, especially when they turn up in packs.
I looked up Serra da Estrela dogs, and they're quite beautiful. But I wouldn't necessarily fancy seeing one in the wild. What I'm seeing looks like a breed kept as pets though. Are there wild ones in the Portuguese mountains.
Yes, they are popular as sheep dogs and pets. However, there are also many stray dogs in Portugal, and because we are in the Serra da Estrela area ~ the home of these dogs ~ it can happen that you meet a stray one (or a small pack) which can be a bit nerve wracking
The Serra da Estrela is the highest mountain range on mainland Portugal. If you do visit, feel free to get in touch 😊 we don't have a Serra da Estrela (dog) only a beautiful but neurotic cat xx
It was a summer vacation with Grandma , Mom, and us 5 kids on a road trip in Northern Ca. On the way to Washington State. Near the coast we came around a curve and there was a juvenile Black bear walking across the road. We drove past. I turned around and the bear glanced our way and slowly sauntered into the forest. Over 60 years later, looking out the car's rear window, and that bear is still a clear memory.
Oh Holly, you held me in enchantment the whole time. I loved the switchback form and the switchbacks of memory, invention, and second-hand stories. Hilarious, harrowing, matter-of-fact, and explosive.
You remind me of the time I lay awake in the forest between the public roads and the rocky path our group would descend the next day to a river. How anyone slept is a mystery to me. The night was so full of sounds! Was that the crush of brush under a bear’s paw? Was that a wildcat’s breath? Was it really good sense to stretch out on the ground like a stuffed ziti noodle dropped on the floor? No, it was not. I resigned myself to a night of terror as the price of a weekend low down in a canyon beside a California river in midsummer, where the full moon touched the foothills with silver as it rose.
I saw no bears.
Thank you for the shout-out! Writing with caravaners sounds as dreamy as a river moon. ❤️
"Was that a wildcat's breath?" Ha! That's a brilliant line. And also, I have been there! So many sounds in the night. As is "stretch out on the ground like a stuffed ziti noodle." 🤣
I'm glad you had your weekend with the silver foothills and dreamy river moon. Sounds wonderful.
And hilarious, harrowing, matter-of-fact, and explosive? Shucks. I'll take it. Thank you, my friend. I so very much appreciate you. 🥰
Please do write with the caravaners someday, if you should ever feel called to. Would love your brilliance and energy to be a part of any writing project.
Dear God, Holly, this is a stunner. You can imagine my joy at your invocation of Iphigenia and the Arkteia. But it’s the entire structure that has me wowed. It reads like a switchback climb. Bravissima! Bearissima!
Awwww. I'm so glad the switchback structure worked. And I knew you'd love the Ancient Greek addition. I was personally taken by the description of the saffron robes and their shedding. What an image!
Bearissima! LOVE.
Thank you, ever so much for reading and commenting. 🥰
One of the joys of teaching writing is that I get to see the art that hides art. That structure.. really marvelous. Greatly in danger of being imitated 😉
A stunning and startling fusion of seemingly unrelated experiences. To paraphrase others here, you took us up and down a trail of switchbacks and left us grateful for the adventure.
Thank you, Rona! As people who read me probably know, I do love a braid. With this one, given the actual switchback in the story, I felt emboldened to be particularly ... well, switchback-y about the structure.
Thank you for reading and commenting. 🥰 I appreciate you.
I know, right? Poor fella. I think he just wanted off that damn trail where he was likely to run into more of the smelly, loud bipeds.
To be honest, I didn't really even feel very afraid. It all happened so quickly. I almost didn't have time to feel fear. I mean there was some in the moment when the bear veered toward me. But he was gone in such a flash. I was more stunned than anything.
Holly, sometimes I struggle to express the impact your writing has on my heart. Although your experiences may be quite different from mine, somehow, in the magic of your words, they resonate with my own experiences too.
Oh, Paulette. I believe this is among the highest compliments a writer can get. And to write my own experiences in a way that they speak to the experiences of readers is certainly a primary goal. So thank you. This comment means a lot. 🥰
Wow, Holly. As I've come to expect from you, I'm amazed at the threads you've pulled together for this, and I wonder at how it seems you have themes connecting so many of your experiences. Probably they are there for all of us and you are just very skilled at seeing them.
I've never been fortunate enough to be in the company of a bear. I can't say I've actively longed for that, either, so maybe they were hiding in plain sight. I'd like to believe I could be as aware, and respectful as you were, not spray my humanness all over the moment.
I'm reminded of a practice I used to keep with a group of women: Shamanic postures, as researched by Felicitas Goodman (here's a brief description--author not someone I know: https://shamanicdrumming.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-bear-spirit-posture.html). Bear spirit was about restoration and healing, and I often felt her behind me, holding me in safety. 🤎
Thank you, Elizabeth! I LOVE that the bear posture is about healing and restoration. I appreciate the link. I'm intrigued to learn more.
I do believe we all have themes connecting our experiences. I've been thinking of creating the curriculum for a workshop or class on braiding and/or on uncovering the themes that guide your life and writing, particularly for those of who write memoir and other forms of personal creative nonfiction.
If you've spent time in the woods, it's likely there may have been a bear hiding in plain sight. ;) In my handful of bear encounters, I've found them to be entirely nonaggressive and no more interested in a close encounter with me than I am with them. This particular tale recounts the most physically close encounter I had for sure. But I don't think the bear wanted anything to do with me. He was just scared and trying to get off the damn path! Poor fella. I'm also not sure I was particularly aware and respectful--I mean I was I suppose. I was also just reacting. :)
Thank you ever so much for reading and commenting!
Oh and your spraying the humanness comment made me think of how, in Alaska, I did carry bear spray. But I dearly dearly hope to never have to employ it.
Wow, I could sit with this one for a while. The tension between the masculine and feminine, overt power and innate power, is tugging at my gut upon finishing. This looming sense of danger, not from what we’re taught to be frightened of (a bear) but man himself, caging and spewing and slaying. How beautiful to see these young women in their ritual, stepping into their own power, like you leaving your marriage, and then shedding all that’s no longer needed—the power now lies within.
Just rambling here as this stunning piece reveals itself to me. I delight in how your writing reveals meaning not all at once, but in embodied layers, as my own body slowly digests your offering.
Thank you, Kimberly. I, too, was struck by the image of the girls in their saffron colored robes dressed as bears--and especially of the moment in the ceremony when they shed the robes. Powerful.
It's such an interesting contemplation, the tension between over power and innate power. And I'm so heartened that you felt it here in this piece. I was feeling it as I was writing it. So what a gift to hear it came through.
Coyote, bisons, moose, a bear. Yeah I'll stay in New Zealand, thanks, where all I run into is a goat or a pig.
😂
Ha! Great response, Sophie.
As a side note, I do long to visit New Zealand someday and would happily run into pigs and goats there. But I take your point. 💕
Yes pigs and goats are great, not scary at all! Although the one time there was a giant family of pigs in my garden I didn't necessarily appreciate this either 🤣 You should come and visit, NZ is beautiful!
That was great. I made a cup of tea and sat down and now my damn tea is cold because I got so engrossed in your writing that I forgot it. “You owe me a cup of tea!,” he said banging his knuckles on the worn walnut desk. :)
I have thought of what might happen if I ran into a bear, because where I live there’s every chance I will, and I’m in the forest a lot. I do run into signs of bears, but so far I’ve not seen them. Although whether they’ve seen me is another matter. But of all the scenarios I’ve imagined I’ve never thought of the bear whistling past me and disappearing into who knows where. Lucky, lucky you.
Thanks Holly, I really enjoyed that. Got to get out to the wilds now. You’ve whet my appetite
I'd gladly get you a cuppa tea any old day so we could sit down and discuss the world and our writing or just take in some fantastic view somewhere.
Poor knuckles.
Yes, this encounter was a special one. And I really wasn't even scared. I hardly had time to be. Just kind of in awe. I've had more than a handful of bear in the wild sightings, in the forest, in the Yukon, and once on a beach in a PNW rainforest. Every time one of us has needed to, it's been the bear who's veered away, though I'd have been happy to get out of his or her way as well. ;)
Enjoy the wilds. Need to get out soon myself!
Every time one of us has needed to, it's been the bear who's veered away - I sometimes imagine it'd be the dog that'd be the problem. I can imagine a bear wisely veering from me but the dog is a tasty and annoying creature for bears. Wolves too. He's like a plate of meatballs for them. Yum.
I'll take a view and the writing discussion :)
I think about this too when I take a friend’s dog along hiking. I love Coco’s company. But in such an encounter would she be a help or a hindrance? Likely the latter. And I’d be terrified for her and trying to figure out how to defend her!
I live in Montana. I grew up in Los Angeles. I had enough "escaping by skin of my teeth" experiences living there that I am on high alert most of the time. It is my body's set state. I read your essay and felt my heart begin to race. Several years ago, my husband and I were camping and we drove over to a canyon near the river so he could throw in a line. I sat in a canvas chair and picked up my book. I got lost in the story. I looked up as a crow cawed above me and then realized I didn't see my husband anywhere. I called out. No answer. I called again and again, then went to the truck to sit inside, feeling extremely vulnerable. My imagination went wild. I pictured him hiking the hills without his heart medicine. I pictured him eaten by a grizzly bear. I'm next! I tried the doors of the truck. They were locked. Yeah...don't ask me. My husband claims they were locked out of habit. I began yelling some more, and soon he came from right behind a nearby large bush. The sound of the rushing water had masked my screaming and he finally heard me. I have no doubt that the adrenaline that filled my body was exactly how I'd feel if I had actually seen a grizzly bear that day. I'm also sure that nearby campers though I was in the process of being mauled by that same bear.
Oh, Linda! I relate to both how sound can be strange in the wild--either carrying crazy far or being totally drowned out even when close by, say, rushing water--and how you can suddenly become convinced that something has gone horribly wrong, and oh my god nothing will ever be the same again. Our frail strong human hearts and bodies are such a curiosity and a wonder.
Glad all was well with your hubby! And also, LA to Montana is a big change. I love so much of Montana. So much gorgeousness there. And in truth, I have a lot of love for Los Angeles too. Though I wouldn't choose to live there now.
Thank you, thank you for reading and commenting, my friend. 💕
Holly...same. I've been in Montana for thirty years and I was in LA for thirty. I still think of LA as "home" since I grew up there, and I enjoy being back for visits, although I would not ever live there again. And...I'll always be a "beach" girl. 😃
Just wonderful.
Awwww. Thank you.🥰
Great story! We had a family of bears move into an Oak tree next to our house in Western Mass. They stayed for about a week and stripped it clean of acorns. They were much more tame than your rushing bear. They mostly kept to themselves and their work, but occasionally sauntered up to the doorstep. I spent hours watching them, and I'm glad I did, because I have not seen a bear since then.
Oh what a treat to be able to observe them like that--dreamy! And a whole family of them. (Sighs with delight.)
I figure my rushing bear was just scared out of his mind and trying to get off this damn trail where he might encounter those pesky two-legged humans. ;)
Thanks ever so much for reading and sharing your bear family in the oak tree. 🐻♥️
Whoa, what a story! so many layers, and so well told.
To answer your question: Nos, I've never longed to see a bear in the wild. The biggest animals we meet here in the Portuguese mountains are Serra da Estrela dogs (which can grow to the size of a baby bear) and it can be a little scary, especially when they turn up in packs.
Thanks, Veronika!
I looked up Serra da Estrela dogs, and they're quite beautiful. But I wouldn't necessarily fancy seeing one in the wild. What I'm seeing looks like a breed kept as pets though. Are there wild ones in the Portuguese mountains.
Oh to visit the Portuguese mountains some day.
Thanks for reading and commenting. ♥️
Yes, they are popular as sheep dogs and pets. However, there are also many stray dogs in Portugal, and because we are in the Serra da Estrela area ~ the home of these dogs ~ it can happen that you meet a stray one (or a small pack) which can be a bit nerve wracking
The Serra da Estrela is the highest mountain range on mainland Portugal. If you do visit, feel free to get in touch 😊 we don't have a Serra da Estrela (dog) only a beautiful but neurotic cat xx
Bared soul AND another bear story. Thank you Holly! ~J
Bared soul! So much baring and bearing around this parts.
Thank YOU, Janice. I continue to be ever so grateful we've connected. ♥️♥️♥️
Holly,
It was a summer vacation with Grandma , Mom, and us 5 kids on a road trip in Northern Ca. On the way to Washington State. Near the coast we came around a curve and there was a juvenile Black bear walking across the road. We drove past. I turned around and the bear glanced our way and slowly sauntered into the forest. Over 60 years later, looking out the car's rear window, and that bear is still a clear memory.
Isn't it wonderful how an image/encounter like that sticks with you. What a road trip! I, not surprisingly, love road trips of all kinds.
Thank you ever so much for reading and commenting! 😊 (I always wan there to be a winding road emoji so I can add it in such occasions.)
Oh Holly, you held me in enchantment the whole time. I loved the switchback form and the switchbacks of memory, invention, and second-hand stories. Hilarious, harrowing, matter-of-fact, and explosive.
You remind me of the time I lay awake in the forest between the public roads and the rocky path our group would descend the next day to a river. How anyone slept is a mystery to me. The night was so full of sounds! Was that the crush of brush under a bear’s paw? Was that a wildcat’s breath? Was it really good sense to stretch out on the ground like a stuffed ziti noodle dropped on the floor? No, it was not. I resigned myself to a night of terror as the price of a weekend low down in a canyon beside a California river in midsummer, where the full moon touched the foothills with silver as it rose.
I saw no bears.
Thank you for the shout-out! Writing with caravaners sounds as dreamy as a river moon. ❤️
"Was that a wildcat's breath?" Ha! That's a brilliant line. And also, I have been there! So many sounds in the night. As is "stretch out on the ground like a stuffed ziti noodle." 🤣
I'm glad you had your weekend with the silver foothills and dreamy river moon. Sounds wonderful.
And hilarious, harrowing, matter-of-fact, and explosive? Shucks. I'll take it. Thank you, my friend. I so very much appreciate you. 🥰
Please do write with the caravaners someday, if you should ever feel called to. Would love your brilliance and energy to be a part of any writing project.
Dear God, Holly, this is a stunner. You can imagine my joy at your invocation of Iphigenia and the Arkteia. But it’s the entire structure that has me wowed. It reads like a switchback climb. Bravissima! Bearissima!
Awwww. I'm so glad the switchback structure worked. And I knew you'd love the Ancient Greek addition. I was personally taken by the description of the saffron robes and their shedding. What an image!
Bearissima! LOVE.
Thank you, ever so much for reading and commenting. 🥰
One of the joys of teaching writing is that I get to see the art that hides art. That structure.. really marvelous. Greatly in danger of being imitated 😉
The sincerest form of flattery! 💕
A stunning and startling fusion of seemingly unrelated experiences. To paraphrase others here, you took us up and down a trail of switchbacks and left us grateful for the adventure.
She even ran right by in the form of a frightened young bear!
🥰🐻🥰
Thank you, Rona! As people who read me probably know, I do love a braid. With this one, given the actual switchback in the story, I felt emboldened to be particularly ... well, switchback-y about the structure.
Thank you for reading and commenting. 🥰 I appreciate you.
Good god, how terrifying, Holly! Also, I hope the poor bear was OK, clearly he was also terrified.
I know, right? Poor fella. I think he just wanted off that damn trail where he was likely to run into more of the smelly, loud bipeds.
To be honest, I didn't really even feel very afraid. It all happened so quickly. I almost didn't have time to feel fear. I mean there was some in the moment when the bear veered toward me. But he was gone in such a flash. I was more stunned than anything.
I get that - a lot of people say the fear only hits them after it's over.
Holly, sometimes I struggle to express the impact your writing has on my heart. Although your experiences may be quite different from mine, somehow, in the magic of your words, they resonate with my own experiences too.
Oh, Paulette. I believe this is among the highest compliments a writer can get. And to write my own experiences in a way that they speak to the experiences of readers is certainly a primary goal. So thank you. This comment means a lot. 🥰
Wow, Holly. As I've come to expect from you, I'm amazed at the threads you've pulled together for this, and I wonder at how it seems you have themes connecting so many of your experiences. Probably they are there for all of us and you are just very skilled at seeing them.
I've never been fortunate enough to be in the company of a bear. I can't say I've actively longed for that, either, so maybe they were hiding in plain sight. I'd like to believe I could be as aware, and respectful as you were, not spray my humanness all over the moment.
I'm reminded of a practice I used to keep with a group of women: Shamanic postures, as researched by Felicitas Goodman (here's a brief description--author not someone I know: https://shamanicdrumming.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-bear-spirit-posture.html). Bear spirit was about restoration and healing, and I often felt her behind me, holding me in safety. 🤎
Thank you, Elizabeth! I LOVE that the bear posture is about healing and restoration. I appreciate the link. I'm intrigued to learn more.
I do believe we all have themes connecting our experiences. I've been thinking of creating the curriculum for a workshop or class on braiding and/or on uncovering the themes that guide your life and writing, particularly for those of who write memoir and other forms of personal creative nonfiction.
If you've spent time in the woods, it's likely there may have been a bear hiding in plain sight. ;) In my handful of bear encounters, I've found them to be entirely nonaggressive and no more interested in a close encounter with me than I am with them. This particular tale recounts the most physically close encounter I had for sure. But I don't think the bear wanted anything to do with me. He was just scared and trying to get off the damn path! Poor fella. I'm also not sure I was particularly aware and respectful--I mean I was I suppose. I was also just reacting. :)
Thank you ever so much for reading and commenting!
Love the concept of braiding as a way to think about recurrent themes and guiding principles! Braiding Sweetgrass... :)
Oh and your spraying the humanness comment made me think of how, in Alaska, I did carry bear spray. But I dearly dearly hope to never have to employ it.
Wow, I could sit with this one for a while. The tension between the masculine and feminine, overt power and innate power, is tugging at my gut upon finishing. This looming sense of danger, not from what we’re taught to be frightened of (a bear) but man himself, caging and spewing and slaying. How beautiful to see these young women in their ritual, stepping into their own power, like you leaving your marriage, and then shedding all that’s no longer needed—the power now lies within.
Just rambling here as this stunning piece reveals itself to me. I delight in how your writing reveals meaning not all at once, but in embodied layers, as my own body slowly digests your offering.
Thank you, Kimberly. I, too, was struck by the image of the girls in their saffron colored robes dressed as bears--and especially of the moment in the ceremony when they shed the robes. Powerful.
It's such an interesting contemplation, the tension between over power and innate power. And I'm so heartened that you felt it here in this piece. I was feeling it as I was writing it. So what a gift to hear it came through.
🥰🐻
The braiding of the threads is thought-provoking and lovely.
Thank you, Amy! I do love a braided essay. 🥰🐻