I’ve just turned the kettle on for tea when a knock sounds on the van’s side barn doors. I tense for an unpleasant exchange. The pandemic has changed people’s reception of me. No more, “Wow, cool! You live in that thing?” Now, when I squirrel into town every couple of weeks to resupply, people eye me warily.
The kindness of strangers gives me continued hope in humanity (which isn't always easy to maintain, truth be told but I am committed to a hopeful vision). Since moving to Jamaica in 2018, I've often pondered on the idea of belonging...humans created borders with a sense of separation and ownership and call me naive, but I deeply believe that this isn't what the universe intended for us to do. Thank you for a great first read from you and I'm looking forward to more! 💜
Deanna, thank you. I very much appreciate you being here and commenting. I agree. Despite the naïveté with which many no doubt see our perspectives, I too believe our systems of ownership and separation--the distribution of wealth and resources--are wildly out of proportion with what could be an abundance. If we could only see the strands that connect us all. And I, too, am committed to hope and find the kindness of strangers a beautiful source.
I post a story about strangers or acquaintances having each other's back every first Saturday of the month. And I'm opening it up to guest posts from others who have such stories if you're ever interested.
I also have a chat thread where I encourage visitors to ask for what they need (recipes, songs to dance to, book recommendations) or to give what they have to offer (favorite new drinks, funny videos, a great quote). PS. A chat thread is a third thing on Subtack, along with posts and notes. In my metaphor, it's like being invited to a room to hang out with someone you subscribe to and all their subscribers.
I found this very poignant to read, thank you. I live in a lovely rural area and was deeply shocked by the anger and hostility in my own village when 'outsiders' (ie from maybe 15 miles away) came to walk and ride in 'our' woods. You evoke the impact and complexity of those times very well.
Thank you for saying this, Julie! It was weird times, wasn't it? Sometimes, I look back and wonder if I'm exaggerating the anxiety I felt about what to do and how to conduct myself or maybe overreacted then. I was in Arizona. I lived in a van, mostly completely isolated, came into town to restock. It seemed the most socially responsible choice and best for myself for a number of reasons. I was worried about family elsewhere too.
I don’t think it was possible to overreact. What saddens me is how much the us/them hostility has hardened and lasted beyond the shock of those initial months. Here, it seems set to stay now. I hope you are meeting with more moments of care like the one you write about here. Goodness knows we all need them.
I think sometimes people think of people living in a vehicle as not having a choice - like why would you live like this if you had a choice? It is an assumption. This burly guy made this assumption but whether it was true or not his offer was lovely. Of course there is the irony that he is taking something from someone who obviously has a lack of resources to hang on to their vehicle and then offering stuff to people who hecprobably believes have lack of resources to hang on to their home.
I just read an article about a town in Montana that is trying to push the homeless out and the violence that has been acted upon the town's homeless residents. It's nice to be reminded that random people still care.
It was a lovely offer. I thought, too, of the irony and complexity of his work. God we humans sure have a way of collectively screwing up the distribution of resources majorly. Oh man, that Montana story breaks my heart.
May enough of us still be willing to be those who remind each other that random people do care as we move forward in these times fraught with changes that won't be easy for many.
A lovely piece, Holly. It is a shame that covid and some people's hostility often causes us to approach people who have kind intentions with more caution than we would otherwise like. I think your piece captured that well.
Also, I loved this line:
“A man in a lumber jacket with a three-day-old beard and valleys stretching from the corners of his eyes is handing me a paper.” — such a wonderful description :)
Yeah, particularly covid's outset (this story happened in March 2020) was a really weird time for connection. Reflecting on this interaction makes me think about how easy it is to mirror even attitudes you don't want to have without realizing it. Fear begets fear and so on.
And now I'm just imagining all the nifty little gadgets you might have found - I'm forever finding things and thinking "I didn't even know I needed this!" ;) Very kind man... There is a little bit of that "perpetual outsider" feeling living in Spain, luckily, I relish it... :D
“Oh, the mountains of lost treasures to comb through, the stories I might have conjured alongside the kind of people who, amid waves of fear of the unknown, surface to offer kindness to a weary stranger.” So many of these. I look back, even to my youth and wonder about the kindnesses I missed as I focused instead on fear or lack. But there’s still time! I tell myself. And feel how now, kindness and reciprocation only add more life and fill in all the fearful and lacking caverns of the past.
Really love that Pooh - Piglet cartoon. Do you mind if I use it sometime? I’ll credit you for finding it..... I bet if you put it on insta the person responsible would pop up.
Oh wow... yeah few know the feeling of being "Outside Society... " Its a rough one as I feel our nature is tribal... very interesting that you experienced that. You are self sufficient and have money which is great. The only real crime in this society is to be without money.
You are not insane untill you run out of money ... you are just eccentric.
Im glad that knock on the door wasn't something's bad.
My first encounter with this was when I was 8 and watched the first rambo movie where Rambo was moved along in that small town. Thats the part that had the biggest impact on me.
The feeling of being out of money on the streets outside of an uncaring society is just incredible.
And I wouldn't wish it on anyone!
I was in Chicago and gave 20$ to a homeless gal while I was with a group of very rich clients, at a business brokerage seminar that I was hosting.... one guy dirided me for doing so and I had to explain that he has no idea what it's like to beg and be homeless, and that these guys were my people, no matter their state, as I was once one of them. I give the money so I never forget or pretend that was not part of what made me.
Yeah, I suppose there are many ways we humans can feel or make others feel on the outside of things.
I’m not sure why I had this reaction to being seen as “without.” I have had much less and felt maybe even a sense of pride around it. I don’t have much judgment on anyone being in any condition. I’m of the absolute certainty that, but for the grace of circumstance, I could find myself in the place of most anyone. I think there was something specific about my feeling outside of. And in truth, I felt defensive in this way more than once in the van. Ruby the van is old, and assumptions were made. Security called and the like on various occasions. I think it’s pretty clear I must have felt a little uncertain of myself, as it’s rarely about what others think really. I’d that makes any sense.
Oh that feeling of looking for connection. Anytime really, but especially when living alone on the road. I've been experiencing some of that myself. I had these lovely camp neighbors recently and went on a big day tramp and came "home" looking to share with them about our respective days and they were gone. I was so sad! But then a discovery! They clearly felt a connection as well because they left me a lovely little note under my tent flap saying goodbye and wishing me well. It warmed my heart so.
The kindness of strangers gives me continued hope in humanity (which isn't always easy to maintain, truth be told but I am committed to a hopeful vision). Since moving to Jamaica in 2018, I've often pondered on the idea of belonging...humans created borders with a sense of separation and ownership and call me naive, but I deeply believe that this isn't what the universe intended for us to do. Thank you for a great first read from you and I'm looking forward to more! 💜
Deanna, thank you. I very much appreciate you being here and commenting. I agree. Despite the naïveté with which many no doubt see our perspectives, I too believe our systems of ownership and separation--the distribution of wealth and resources--are wildly out of proportion with what could be an abundance. If we could only see the strands that connect us all. And I, too, am committed to hope and find the kindness of strangers a beautiful source.
I post a story about strangers or acquaintances having each other's back every first Saturday of the month. And I'm opening it up to guest posts from others who have such stories if you're ever interested.
I also have a chat thread where I encourage visitors to ask for what they need (recipes, songs to dance to, book recommendations) or to give what they have to offer (favorite new drinks, funny videos, a great quote). PS. A chat thread is a third thing on Subtack, along with posts and notes. In my metaphor, it's like being invited to a room to hang out with someone you subscribe to and all their subscribers.
Thanks again, Deanna!
Strangers being kind to strangers, what a rarity these days. But I think it should be welcomed.
Absolutely! And I think the more we're open to it, the more we see of it. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Nadia. It means a lot.
I agree with that. More kindness attracts more kindness. It's my pleasure, you're a talented writer.
I found this very poignant to read, thank you. I live in a lovely rural area and was deeply shocked by the anger and hostility in my own village when 'outsiders' (ie from maybe 15 miles away) came to walk and ride in 'our' woods. You evoke the impact and complexity of those times very well.
Thank you for saying this, Julie! It was weird times, wasn't it? Sometimes, I look back and wonder if I'm exaggerating the anxiety I felt about what to do and how to conduct myself or maybe overreacted then. I was in Arizona. I lived in a van, mostly completely isolated, came into town to restock. It seemed the most socially responsible choice and best for myself for a number of reasons. I was worried about family elsewhere too.
Your reading and commenting means a lot.
I don’t think it was possible to overreact. What saddens me is how much the us/them hostility has hardened and lasted beyond the shock of those initial months. Here, it seems set to stay now. I hope you are meeting with more moments of care like the one you write about here. Goodness knows we all need them.
I think sometimes people think of people living in a vehicle as not having a choice - like why would you live like this if you had a choice? It is an assumption. This burly guy made this assumption but whether it was true or not his offer was lovely. Of course there is the irony that he is taking something from someone who obviously has a lack of resources to hang on to their vehicle and then offering stuff to people who hecprobably believes have lack of resources to hang on to their home.
I just read an article about a town in Montana that is trying to push the homeless out and the violence that has been acted upon the town's homeless residents. It's nice to be reminded that random people still care.
It was a lovely offer. I thought, too, of the irony and complexity of his work. God we humans sure have a way of collectively screwing up the distribution of resources majorly. Oh man, that Montana story breaks my heart.
May enough of us still be willing to be those who remind each other that random people do care as we move forward in these times fraught with changes that won't be easy for many.
Thanks for reading and commenting, my friend.
A lovely piece, Holly. It is a shame that covid and some people's hostility often causes us to approach people who have kind intentions with more caution than we would otherwise like. I think your piece captured that well.
Also, I loved this line:
“A man in a lumber jacket with a three-day-old beard and valleys stretching from the corners of his eyes is handing me a paper.” — such a wonderful description :)
Yeah, particularly covid's outset (this story happened in March 2020) was a really weird time for connection. Reflecting on this interaction makes me think about how easy it is to mirror even attitudes you don't want to have without realizing it. Fear begets fear and so on.
Thanks, Michael. I enjoyed writing that line. :)
Yes, you’re so right — it’s a mirroring thing.
And now I'm just imagining all the nifty little gadgets you might have found - I'm forever finding things and thinking "I didn't even know I needed this!" ;) Very kind man... There is a little bit of that "perpetual outsider" feeling living in Spain, luckily, I relish it... :D
Right?! So many possible treasures.
And I get relishing the perpetual outsider feeling for sure.
“Oh, the mountains of lost treasures to comb through, the stories I might have conjured alongside the kind of people who, amid waves of fear of the unknown, surface to offer kindness to a weary stranger.” So many of these. I look back, even to my youth and wonder about the kindnesses I missed as I focused instead on fear or lack. But there’s still time! I tell myself. And feel how now, kindness and reciprocation only add more life and fill in all the fearful and lacking caverns of the past.
Yes. That’s exactly it. I was focused on fear and lack—especially lack—which is why ironically I bristles at being perceived as lacking. Oh humans.
And yes. That’s a gorgeous way of saying it—filling all the fearful and lacking caverns. 💕
Thank you!
Oh course friend!!!!
Can I quote this comment in a note?
Oops, haha... I replied above. Of course!!!!
This is very touching. Thank you.
Thank you, Diane. 🥰
Really love that Pooh - Piglet cartoon. Do you mind if I use it sometime? I’ll credit you for finding it..... I bet if you put it on insta the person responsible would pop up.
Use it anytime! Not mine in anyway. ❤️ A Google search will show you some other humorous versions of this same image.
Good thinking on the IG post. I’ll try it. Let you know if anything comes back.
Thank you. Fine capture of oneself cautious, mistaking, realising and reflecting.
Oh wow... yeah few know the feeling of being "Outside Society... " Its a rough one as I feel our nature is tribal... very interesting that you experienced that. You are self sufficient and have money which is great. The only real crime in this society is to be without money.
You are not insane untill you run out of money ... you are just eccentric.
Im glad that knock on the door wasn't something's bad.
My first encounter with this was when I was 8 and watched the first rambo movie where Rambo was moved along in that small town. Thats the part that had the biggest impact on me.
The feeling of being out of money on the streets outside of an uncaring society is just incredible.
And I wouldn't wish it on anyone!
I was in Chicago and gave 20$ to a homeless gal while I was with a group of very rich clients, at a business brokerage seminar that I was hosting.... one guy dirided me for doing so and I had to explain that he has no idea what it's like to beg and be homeless, and that these guys were my people, no matter their state, as I was once one of them. I give the money so I never forget or pretend that was not part of what made me.
Yeah, I suppose there are many ways we humans can feel or make others feel on the outside of things.
I’m not sure why I had this reaction to being seen as “without.” I have had much less and felt maybe even a sense of pride around it. I don’t have much judgment on anyone being in any condition. I’m of the absolute certainty that, but for the grace of circumstance, I could find myself in the place of most anyone. I think there was something specific about my feeling outside of. And in truth, I felt defensive in this way more than once in the van. Ruby the van is old, and assumptions were made. Security called and the like on various occasions. I think it’s pretty clear I must have felt a little uncertain of myself, as it’s rarely about what others think really. I’d that makes any sense.
Other knocks weren’t so pleasant. 🤪
And yes. What you say about money is true.
Oh that feeling of looking for connection. Anytime really, but especially when living alone on the road. I've been experiencing some of that myself. I had these lovely camp neighbors recently and went on a big day tramp and came "home" looking to share with them about our respective days and they were gone. I was so sad! But then a discovery! They clearly felt a connection as well because they left me a lovely little note under my tent flap saying goodbye and wishing me well. It warmed my heart so.