I adored this, Holly. It feels so real, so alive with the recounting. Plus, there are some stellar lines woven through the text.
But also, even though this prompt wasn't mine, boy does it resonate. I was madly in love with a girl during university. We were studying different courses, but every time we met it was like wild sparks and we had this strange, immediate connection. I spent most of my degree being too damn shy to do anything about it, plus she was dating someone else. By the end, when I thought I should just actually do something about it and let her know how I felt, I found out that in the moment of her choosing to date the guy she ended up marrying, she was torn between asking him out or me. My world came crashing down.
One of those sliding door moments.
Anyway, sorry, that's too much info haha, your story had me totally gripped and I was nodding along with Waylon.
Thank you, Nathan! I am touched it resonated and so glad you shared your story. Ouch. I’m sorry.
I once found out someone I was crushing on but way too shy to imagine him being into me had been crushing on me at the same time. We’d both moved on. But it stuck out for me. I was quite young, and I was so surprised to realize how wrong we can be about what’s going on for those around us. Sort of a different turn. But your account reminded me of this.
Thank you, Michael! I did very much enjoy this story and am, for sure, rethinking my I'm-not-much-of-a-fiction-writer stance. Why not, yes/and? The encouragement is much appreciated.
I don’t consider myself much of a fiction writer either. But somewhat counterintuitively I’ve found that’s actually kind of helped as it means I don’t really place any expectations on any fiction I do write — I just let myself have fun with it, which seems to help.
Thank you! Yes, I do think a great many of us know what it is to yearn for something or someone we can't have in the way we think we want. Thank you for reading and commenting. I much appreciate it. :)
Donna! Thank you. These words made me beam. And I’ve come back to read them again and savor them. I much appreciate that you’re one of the amazing humans Substack has brought me to. ♥️
Holly, I really enjoyed your use of the senses in this story! The themes of color and scent, and then the fun tie-in with the kids' names was really lovely to read.
The prompt certainly awakened and inspired your creative juices. Your prose, descriptions, imagery and voice are beautiful. The story of unrequited love is heartbreaking. I felt terrible for Waylon. I wondered if Amber ever sensed his attraction. But this was Waylon’s POV. His obsession with a girl over many years. Stunning work. Congrats!
Thank you, my friend. I have high hopes for Waylon. I think there’s a gorgeous requited love story in his future. He’ll probably fall in love a few more times first. ;)
I have been writing little ditties I think of as the Waylon chronicles. The last couple micro pieces i posted on Jeannine Oulette's story challenge have been from them (POV pieces from two of the bandmates from his high school garage band days). So, maybe?!
I love the edgy, urban , young deeply felt tone of this well paced story. I’m especially enthralled by the way your senses help us, the reader, travel along this thread in the lives of two people and the narrators self awareness. I’m not familiar with your other work but I love your fiction.
Ha! Me too as I was first writing. But nearer the end, I realize he has a fabulous love story in the future. And she was alway’s George’s girl. Or better yet, her own. ;)
Oh wow. I felt every bit of the longing and heartbreak you so beautifully orchestrated here. Your use of color was incredible and evocative, helping to bring Waylon's world and dreams to life for me. I so desperately wanted to meet Marmalade & Alex. This was such a beautiful read. Thank you!
Thank you!! I've so fallen in love with Waylon and crew I've started writing little ditties I think of as "The Waylon Chronicles," starting with his high school years where he first met his bestie, Tabitha. I've posted a few of them on Jeannine Oullette's story challenge the last few weeks.
Thank you for your words of appreciation, Troy. They mean a lot. :)
This is very nicely done. You captured a sense of friendship that wants more, friendship with possibilities that don't materialize, and a sense of acceptance and gratitude amid the sense of loss. I enjoyed your story very much. I think fiction suits you. And I like the idea of looking through amber colored glasses. Pretty cool.
Thank you, Mark! I was surprised by how much I took to this fiction project. A whole new avenue to explore. Her name was Amber before it occurred to me to use the amber metaphor. :)
Ow. My heart hurts. These kinds of relationships are so so gorgeous and yet SO SO painful. Why do we do it???? Of course, I know why.
You nailed the emotion of this Holly. Beautifully done.
Loved this line: "she pulled out glasses with red frames that reminded her irises of the emerald in her hazel." Among many others. 💜💜💜
Thank you, Meg! I know, right? How dear that possibility can be to our poor romantic hearts!
I so appreciate you reading and commenting. ♥️
All the unsaid, the wonderful gaps...this really makes your story pop. Just wonderful.
Thank you thank you. I so appreciate you reading and commenting. And I'm grateful for this project bringing me to writers like you. :)
Oh, I'm so sad! Poor Waylon, silly boy... 🥲 You captured the longing and regret so well, Holly - keep going with the fiction!!! xoxo
I know! It's such an exquisite pain--the longing in such situations.
Thank you, my friend. I did much enjoy this foray into fiction and am certain it won't be my last.
As for Waylon, I'm quite certain there's a gorgeous requited love story in his future. ;)
I adored this, Holly. It feels so real, so alive with the recounting. Plus, there are some stellar lines woven through the text.
But also, even though this prompt wasn't mine, boy does it resonate. I was madly in love with a girl during university. We were studying different courses, but every time we met it was like wild sparks and we had this strange, immediate connection. I spent most of my degree being too damn shy to do anything about it, plus she was dating someone else. By the end, when I thought I should just actually do something about it and let her know how I felt, I found out that in the moment of her choosing to date the guy she ended up marrying, she was torn between asking him out or me. My world came crashing down.
One of those sliding door moments.
Anyway, sorry, that's too much info haha, your story had me totally gripped and I was nodding along with Waylon.
Thank you, Nathan! I am touched it resonated and so glad you shared your story. Ouch. I’m sorry.
I once found out someone I was crushing on but way too shy to imagine him being into me had been crushing on me at the same time. We’d both moved on. But it stuck out for me. I was quite young, and I was so surprised to realize how wrong we can be about what’s going on for those around us. Sort of a different turn. But your account reminded me of this.
Thank you much for reading and sharing. ♥️
The torture of a war lost before it's begun. Nice job, Holly. I was there.
Truth! Thank you, Adam. I much appreciate you reading and commenting. ❤️
This was beautiful, Holly. The way you captured the complexity, pain, and joy of relationships through your characters was fantastic.
I must say, for someone who doesn’t wander into fiction very often — you certainly have a knack for it!
Also, there were many lines and phrases I liked, so I had to point out at least one:
“...how a year has past in seconds and an eternity...” —- loved it!
Great story and great writing, Holly :)
Thank you, Michael! I did very much enjoy this story and am, for sure, rethinking my I'm-not-much-of-a-fiction-writer stance. Why not, yes/and? The encouragement is much appreciated.
I don’t consider myself much of a fiction writer either. But somewhat counterintuitively I’ve found that’s actually kind of helped as it means I don’t really place any expectations on any fiction I do write — I just let myself have fun with it, which seems to help.
Unreciprocated love is... difficult, to say the least. Most of us probably had a similar experience. Beautifully done.
Thank you! Yes, I do think a great many of us know what it is to yearn for something or someone we can't have in the way we think we want. Thank you for reading and commenting. I much appreciate it. :)
This is gorgeous Holly! The depth of emotion and real-life rollercoaster sensations are very well done.
I loved this story.
Donna! Thank you. These words made me beam. And I’ve come back to read them again and savor them. I much appreciate that you’re one of the amazing humans Substack has brought me to. ♥️
Right back at you!
Holly, I really enjoyed your use of the senses in this story! The themes of color and scent, and then the fun tie-in with the kids' names was really lovely to read.
Thank you, Petra! I had a lot of fun with that element myself. It felt a bit decadent. ;)
The prompt certainly awakened and inspired your creative juices. Your prose, descriptions, imagery and voice are beautiful. The story of unrequited love is heartbreaking. I felt terrible for Waylon. I wondered if Amber ever sensed his attraction. But this was Waylon’s POV. His obsession with a girl over many years. Stunning work. Congrats!
Thank you, my friend. I have high hopes for Waylon. I think there’s a gorgeous requited love story in his future. He’ll probably fall in love a few more times first. ;)
Will this be a novel? 🙏
I have been writing little ditties I think of as the Waylon chronicles. The last couple micro pieces i posted on Jeannine Oulette's story challenge have been from them (POV pieces from two of the bandmates from his high school garage band days). So, maybe?!
Thanks for your support. It means a lot. :)
So nice to see you at Jeannine’s place. 😃 I will be on the lookout for your posts every Wednesday. Glad Waylon’s story continues. 🙏
Yes, I thought the same when I saw you there and have enjoyed your posts there. The dog point of view is fantastic. I'm impressed.
Fantastic work 👌🏽
Thank you, thank you. 🧡
You’re so so welcome lovely one!💕
I love the edgy, urban , young deeply felt tone of this well paced story. I’m especially enthralled by the way your senses help us, the reader, travel along this thread in the lives of two people and the narrators self awareness. I’m not familiar with your other work but I love your fiction.
Thank you, Jean! ♥️ I’m excited to check out your story.
Fab stuff, Holly! But I really wanted him to get his girl!
Ha! Me too as I was first writing. But nearer the end, I realize he has a fabulous love story in the future. And she was alway’s George’s girl. Or better yet, her own. ;)
Excellent. I am immediately planning to read it again, later today!
Thanks, Kenneth! What a wonderful compliment. :)
Oh wow. I felt every bit of the longing and heartbreak you so beautifully orchestrated here. Your use of color was incredible and evocative, helping to bring Waylon's world and dreams to life for me. I so desperately wanted to meet Marmalade & Alex. This was such a beautiful read. Thank you!
Thank you!! I've so fallen in love with Waylon and crew I've started writing little ditties I think of as "The Waylon Chronicles," starting with his high school years where he first met his bestie, Tabitha. I've posted a few of them on Jeannine Oullette's story challenge the last few weeks.
Thank you for your words of appreciation, Troy. They mean a lot. :)
I look forward to reading those!
This is very nicely done. You captured a sense of friendship that wants more, friendship with possibilities that don't materialize, and a sense of acceptance and gratitude amid the sense of loss. I enjoyed your story very much. I think fiction suits you. And I like the idea of looking through amber colored glasses. Pretty cool.
Thank you, Mark! I was surprised by how much I took to this fiction project. A whole new avenue to explore. Her name was Amber before it occurred to me to use the amber metaphor. :)