What a great conversation between two immense talents. I have to admit that what Romana wrote about Hillary's loss resonated. I remember that week felt like a funeral, that something essential had died. I can't imagine compounding a cancer diagnosis on top of that kind of grief.
I also loved the guidelines you wrote about for memoir. Very cool. Very thoughtful. Very generous. One of my favorite quotes by Anne Lamott, and one I hold onto as permission in my darkest reflections is, "You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better."
Thank you, Troy! I know, right?! I, too, was taken back to that week, the heaviness of collective disbelief and the fear nipping at its heels. It broke my heart a little thinking of Ramona dealing with a cancer diagnosis on top of it. She's a powerhouse, though, and would find a way to tap into her anger fueling her.
My sister reminds me of that Anne Lamott quote every time I fret over something I'm writing that involves others. Both Anne and my sister are wise souls, and I'm super lucky to have my sis in my corner. Though she's younger, she gets mama bear defensive on my behalf. ;)
Brilliant conversation! Throughout, i wanted to be seated by the fire with either, or both, of you. Love this format. As an aspiring author, your question, “where are you spending the season,” inspired me to write this response:
It is winter here in southwestern Ontario (Canada), a season typically snow-covered, the city frozen in a blanched bleak beauty. But this year, we are in the throes of an atypical season, the snow has been sparse, the temperature mild (it’s 42F right now and climbing; it’s usually well below 32F). The view from my 12th floor window -- a vast woodland park -- has been painted with heavy strokes of Burnt Siena, from sky to ground, with no Titanium White to relieve the eye as it surveys the canvas. Yet, despite the sombre backdrop, the paths are populated with random hits of colour -- people pushing strollers, jogging, walking dogs -- and, somehow, the dreariness is diminished.
Love this! The Burnt Siena stroke, the random hits of color, that they're people and pets and how they diminish the dreariness. Wonderful. Thank you for sharing!!
And thanks for pulling up a seat to our proverbial fires. :)
A very interesting and engaging conversation between you two. I had never heard of Romana before this post, so thank you for enlightening me to her work, Holly. Looking forward to part 2 :)
Earlier this week, I had a post where I explored the question of how to go about truth-telling online when it involves others. The only conclusion I have for now is to take it case by case and trying to ensure my intent is pointed in an honorable direction. I really don’t know the humble or tactful way to go about this, though! Hoping to learn more.
Yeah, it's a fascinating subject, and my thinking around it has evolved a great deal. Off the top of my head, two of my favorite explorations on the subject by acclaimed writers are Melissa Febos, Body Works, and Mary Karr, The Art of Memoir.
I'm thinking of doing a whole thing (not sure in what format) around it at some point, because it's poignant for many of us writerly people.
Thanks for being here and reading this fun exchange, Erika!
I can close my eyes and imagine you ladies together in a cabin, having a warm cup of coffee, and chatting by the fireplace! I loved the pictures that you shared with this to give us a peek into your cabins. I feel inspired after reading this interview that my winter cabin experience in the woods somewhere will happen one day as well! I'm looking forward to reading part 2 ❤️
Rona, thank you. What a pleasure having you here with us.
I'm looking forward to connecting with you soon if you're still up for it, btw. ;) Been overwhelmed with projects and other life stuff. But I sense we're on a nice schedule of we'll make it happen when it makes sense.
Well done Holly and Ramona for such an insightful interview. The connection the two of you have is palpable on the page, it's so lovely. Hearing your stories and seeing the pictures is inspiring and powerful.
Holly, your writing set up is very organized and vast! That's the word that came to mind - vast. When I saw the picture my first thought was, 'She means business!'
Ramona, I am inspired by your shift toward more personal writing. It's certainly part of what has drawn me to your work and it's also a nudge for me to work on doing the same in a manner that feels right for me and my reader.
Thanks, Donna. I do mean business. And I really love that you said that. It has occurred to me lately that I am entitled to create the life I want. I've always been fairly good at doing things full-throatedly but purposefully has at times been less on point than it is now.
I do so enjoy Ramona and my connection. She's a powerhouse and an inspiration. And her personal writing drew me in as well.
Yes to this Holly, you are entitled to create the life that you want! That idea was wiggling around when I saw the picture of your (temporary) writing space, that you are creating a place to be a successful writer and your soul is going to take notice of that.
I'm fascinated by the little vignettes on your writing table, Holly, and also wondering how you accomplish that in Ruby, or whether that's a special treat for your winter sojourn?
Winter in Sitges, it seems, is over - we were out for our power walk in shorts the other day, still a bit nippy over night/mornings, but in the sun, on the beach promenade, it's glorious. Unfortunately, our drought, though, our drought continues - we really couldn't have chosen a place with a more similar climate to California...
Oh no to the drought. But the power walk in shorts sounds amazing.
Thanks! I adore this current workspace. Only a small piece of that is achievable in Ruby. And a key factor to enjoyment when in full travel mode, for me anyway, is the fewer things that have to be tied down to drive the better. So, this current spread is a cabin treat. It's why I took the cabin. I had plans I realized I needed space and lack of movement for. I was ready for it a couple months before the couple whose home this is was ready to vacate, and Ruby was getting a li'l crowded. 🤣
I love the big windows in your writing space and in Ramona's cabin.
I find it hard to find the right words to write about other people if what I'm saying could be construed as negative. I want to be honest as much as I can without potentially hurting someone's feelings. Writing about my mother-in-law after the death of her husband of 65 years was an example of this. I tried to present the situation as positive as I could from her perspective. I left out all the frustration we had about many things. Oh, and my next Nomad Report I will have to write about the fight. That will be a little tricky to convey objectively.
I admire people who can be so honest in their writing. Have you read Liesbet's memoir yet? It has been described as brutally honest. This post also made me think about another traveling friends blog. She did a whole series about her breadt cancer. She uses a lot of humor but is also very honest. Here is a link to the posts, https://www.callitkismet.com/tag/breast-cancer/ I think you'd like her writing.
It is winter here in North Carolina. We'll, at least it was last week with freezing temperatures. We are house sitting on a farm. It has been quite an experience. Difficult at times but overall really good.
And if you ever write about me, you have permission to use my name. Because you'd never say anything bad about me, right? I hope.
Gah. Me too. I try to remind myself of two things. (1) This is not the truth. It's just my version of what happened. (2) I'm an extra of secondary character in their story, which has a whole world of motives and background I don't know. That helps. I think you did a really great job with writing about your MIL after her husband's death, by the way. What came across most was your compassion. Oh, now I'm looking forward to the next Nomad Report! Great tease. ;)
No. But I can see Plunge from where I'm standing, and it's rising to the top of my reading list soon. I can see from her posts that I'm gonna like the book. I'll check out Jules's blog! Thanks.
Did you already do the Utah housesit?
If I ever write about you again! I named you the first time without asking, cuz I knew you'd be OK with it. And I only have wonderful things to say about you. Anyone reading this should check out Duwan's Nomad
The house sit wasn't in Utah - home owners were going to Utah for their parentsv60th wedding anniversary. It's a farm sit. It has been very interesting.
Yes, I was trying to be compassionate. I am compassionate. But honestly there has been a lot of frustration too. But my view of the story certainly isn't everyone's view.
I jumped over there to read it and soooo appreciate it. Yep, naming names is tricky! I think the reason I settled on changing names, at least for the memoir, is that it's not really that person--it's the character of them that I've created, filtered through my perspective and understanding and limited knowledge of their inner world, even if I know them well.
I'm changing my parents' and sibs' names too, letting them pick out their new names if they want. Maybe it's weird, but it's what I'm going with for now.
Thank you, Tara! It was really such a wonderful conversation. When I first asked Ramona to do this, I started feeling a little out of my league. Like I’d made a big ask. But she was such a joy to engage with. I was put at ease immediately.
What a great conversation between two immense talents. I have to admit that what Romana wrote about Hillary's loss resonated. I remember that week felt like a funeral, that something essential had died. I can't imagine compounding a cancer diagnosis on top of that kind of grief.
I also loved the guidelines you wrote about for memoir. Very cool. Very thoughtful. Very generous. One of my favorite quotes by Anne Lamott, and one I hold onto as permission in my darkest reflections is, "You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better."
Thank you, Troy! I know, right?! I, too, was taken back to that week, the heaviness of collective disbelief and the fear nipping at its heels. It broke my heart a little thinking of Ramona dealing with a cancer diagnosis on top of it. She's a powerhouse, though, and would find a way to tap into her anger fueling her.
My sister reminds me of that Anne Lamott quote every time I fret over something I'm writing that involves others. Both Anne and my sister are wise souls, and I'm super lucky to have my sis in my corner. Though she's younger, she gets mama bear defensive on my behalf. ;)
Copying the Lamott quote into my journal. Thanks, Troy!
Brilliant conversation! Throughout, i wanted to be seated by the fire with either, or both, of you. Love this format. As an aspiring author, your question, “where are you spending the season,” inspired me to write this response:
It is winter here in southwestern Ontario (Canada), a season typically snow-covered, the city frozen in a blanched bleak beauty. But this year, we are in the throes of an atypical season, the snow has been sparse, the temperature mild (it’s 42F right now and climbing; it’s usually well below 32F). The view from my 12th floor window -- a vast woodland park -- has been painted with heavy strokes of Burnt Siena, from sky to ground, with no Titanium White to relieve the eye as it surveys the canvas. Yet, despite the sombre backdrop, the paths are populated with random hits of colour -- people pushing strollers, jogging, walking dogs -- and, somehow, the dreariness is diminished.
Love this! The Burnt Siena stroke, the random hits of color, that they're people and pets and how they diminish the dreariness. Wonderful. Thank you for sharing!!
And thanks for pulling up a seat to our proverbial fires. :)
A very interesting and engaging conversation between you two. I had never heard of Romana before this post, so thank you for enlightening me to her work, Holly. Looking forward to part 2 :)
Thanks, Michael! Glad to introduce Ramona. And if you see this, Mona, you'd like Michael's stuff too. It's terrific.
Thank Holly! Your too kind :)
This was marvelous. Thank you Holly and Ramona!
Earlier this week, I had a post where I explored the question of how to go about truth-telling online when it involves others. The only conclusion I have for now is to take it case by case and trying to ensure my intent is pointed in an honorable direction. I really don’t know the humble or tactful way to go about this, though! Hoping to learn more.
Erika, just flagged "Show and Tell Truth" for my reading hour. (https://erikatovi.substack.com/p/how-to-show-and-tell-truth). Looking forward to it!
Yeah, it's a fascinating subject, and my thinking around it has evolved a great deal. Off the top of my head, two of my favorite explorations on the subject by acclaimed writers are Melissa Febos, Body Works, and Mary Karr, The Art of Memoir.
I'm thinking of doing a whole thing (not sure in what format) around it at some point, because it's poignant for many of us writerly people.
Thanks for being here and reading this fun exchange, Erika!
I can close my eyes and imagine you ladies together in a cabin, having a warm cup of coffee, and chatting by the fireplace! I loved the pictures that you shared with this to give us a peek into your cabins. I feel inspired after reading this interview that my winter cabin experience in the woods somewhere will happen one day as well! I'm looking forward to reading part 2 ❤️
Thank you, Deanna! I appreciate you grabbing a cup and pulling up a chair next to our proverbial fires.
Here's to your cabin in the woods when the time is just right!
It was a treat to eavesdrop on this conversation. And I loved seeing your cozy places in the woods.
Rona, thank you. What a pleasure having you here with us.
I'm looking forward to connecting with you soon if you're still up for it, btw. ;) Been overwhelmed with projects and other life stuff. But I sense we're on a nice schedule of we'll make it happen when it makes sense.
Love to, Holly. No rush.
Well done Holly and Ramona for such an insightful interview. The connection the two of you have is palpable on the page, it's so lovely. Hearing your stories and seeing the pictures is inspiring and powerful.
Holly, your writing set up is very organized and vast! That's the word that came to mind - vast. When I saw the picture my first thought was, 'She means business!'
Ramona, I am inspired by your shift toward more personal writing. It's certainly part of what has drawn me to your work and it's also a nudge for me to work on doing the same in a manner that feels right for me and my reader.
Thanks, Donna. I do mean business. And I really love that you said that. It has occurred to me lately that I am entitled to create the life I want. I've always been fairly good at doing things full-throatedly but purposefully has at times been less on point than it is now.
I do so enjoy Ramona and my connection. She's a powerhouse and an inspiration. And her personal writing drew me in as well.
Yes to this Holly, you are entitled to create the life that you want! That idea was wiggling around when I saw the picture of your (temporary) writing space, that you are creating a place to be a successful writer and your soul is going to take notice of that.
I'm fascinated by the little vignettes on your writing table, Holly, and also wondering how you accomplish that in Ruby, or whether that's a special treat for your winter sojourn?
Winter in Sitges, it seems, is over - we were out for our power walk in shorts the other day, still a bit nippy over night/mornings, but in the sun, on the beach promenade, it's glorious. Unfortunately, our drought, though, our drought continues - we really couldn't have chosen a place with a more similar climate to California...
Oh no to the drought. But the power walk in shorts sounds amazing.
Thanks! I adore this current workspace. Only a small piece of that is achievable in Ruby. And a key factor to enjoyment when in full travel mode, for me anyway, is the fewer things that have to be tied down to drive the better. So, this current spread is a cabin treat. It's why I took the cabin. I had plans I realized I needed space and lack of movement for. I was ready for it a couple months before the couple whose home this is was ready to vacate, and Ruby was getting a li'l crowded. 🤣
I love the big windows in your writing space and in Ramona's cabin.
I find it hard to find the right words to write about other people if what I'm saying could be construed as negative. I want to be honest as much as I can without potentially hurting someone's feelings. Writing about my mother-in-law after the death of her husband of 65 years was an example of this. I tried to present the situation as positive as I could from her perspective. I left out all the frustration we had about many things. Oh, and my next Nomad Report I will have to write about the fight. That will be a little tricky to convey objectively.
I admire people who can be so honest in their writing. Have you read Liesbet's memoir yet? It has been described as brutally honest. This post also made me think about another traveling friends blog. She did a whole series about her breadt cancer. She uses a lot of humor but is also very honest. Here is a link to the posts, https://www.callitkismet.com/tag/breast-cancer/ I think you'd like her writing.
It is winter here in North Carolina. We'll, at least it was last week with freezing temperatures. We are house sitting on a farm. It has been quite an experience. Difficult at times but overall really good.
And if you ever write about me, you have permission to use my name. Because you'd never say anything bad about me, right? I hope.
Looking forward to part 2,
Gah. Me too. I try to remind myself of two things. (1) This is not the truth. It's just my version of what happened. (2) I'm an extra of secondary character in their story, which has a whole world of motives and background I don't know. That helps. I think you did a really great job with writing about your MIL after her husband's death, by the way. What came across most was your compassion. Oh, now I'm looking forward to the next Nomad Report! Great tease. ;)
No. But I can see Plunge from where I'm standing, and it's rising to the top of my reading list soon. I can see from her posts that I'm gonna like the book. I'll check out Jules's blog! Thanks.
Did you already do the Utah housesit?
If I ever write about you again! I named you the first time without asking, cuz I knew you'd be OK with it. And I only have wonderful things to say about you. Anyone reading this should check out Duwan's Nomad
Reports at https://www.makelikeanapeman.com or my story about meeting her here, https://hollystarley.substack.com/p/no-room-in-the-forest.
Thanks for reading, my friend!
The house sit wasn't in Utah - home owners were going to Utah for their parentsv60th wedding anniversary. It's a farm sit. It has been very interesting.
Yes, I was trying to be compassionate. I am compassionate. But honestly there has been a lot of frustration too. But my view of the story certainly isn't everyone's view.
I think, when it comes down to it, knowing that--that your version is only one of many--is a primary key to getting it right.
I feel like I need to copy and paste the comment I put on Ramona's post 😂
I jumped over there to read it and soooo appreciate it. Yep, naming names is tricky! I think the reason I settled on changing names, at least for the memoir, is that it's not really that person--it's the character of them that I've created, filtered through my perspective and understanding and limited knowledge of their inner world, even if I know them well.
Love having you here with us, Sarah!
A little harder when they are your parents and siblings 😬
I'm changing my parents' and sibs' names too, letting them pick out their new names if they want. Maybe it's weird, but it's what I'm going with for now.
This was a truly delightful interview!
Thank you, Maddie! It was for me too. What a powerhouse, Ramona is.
Two women on their own, writing in cabins is a gorgeous jumping off point for a conversation. Great idea!
Thank you, Tara! It was really such a wonderful conversation. When I first asked Ramona to do this, I started feeling a little out of my league. Like I’d made a big ask. But she was such a joy to engage with. I was put at ease immediately.
It shows in the conversation. You two are a good talking-pair. :-)